Do you wonder how to overcome roadblocks, obstacles, or barriers? A roadblock, or a barrier, has many definitions. One definition according to Merriam Webster dictionary, is “a barricade often with traps or mines for holding up an enemy at a point on a road covered by fire). Wow! Does that inspire fear or what!? Another definition, also by Merriam Webster, is “something that blocks progress or prevents accomplishment of an objective”. They sound pretty similar don’t they? The difference is one is real, meaning you can see and touch it, the other one is in your head.
Some examples of life blocks, obstacles and barriers in life, are procrastination, lack of determination, negative self-talk or beliefs, and my favorite, FEAR. Ask yourself, “what roadblock, or barrier, is standing in my way right?” Mine would be FEAR. FEAR has wrapped its slimy arms around my heart, mind, emotions and physical body. My freeze response has kicked in and now I am effectively standing in my own way. I am at the doorway looking out and my fear is riding on my back, peeking around my shoulders. Behind me is my past trauma, emotions, junk, handicaps, barriers, core beliefs, negative thoughts, all those things. They are tugging at my pants like a small child, begging me not to leave them.
This, I know, is my ego mind. It knows nothing else and is quite comfortable right here, despite the ashy gray fog, screeching noises and cries that fill the air and the smell of putrefying garbage that is my past. Before me is a clear blue sky, a lush field of grass and colorful wildflowers. It is beckoning me to step into it and walk barefoot on the soft, plush, green grass; to pick the flowers and smell how fresh and clean they are; to gaze at the sky and get lost in its blueness.
HOW TO OVERCOME ROADBLOCKS, OBSTACLES AND ROADBLOCKS: MY PERSONAL JOURNEY
How do I overcome roadblocks, obstacles and barriers? I imagine stepping out of this doorway, giving a reassuring hug to my ego as she tugs at my pants, and breathing deep of the fresh air. The blades of grass tickle my toe. I hear bees buzzing in the flowers. There is no chaos here, no toxic people, environments, or relationships. There are no energy vampires.
My true self floats to the surface of my mind and takes charge, leading the way, along with the guidance of the universe. I explore this new place. There is nothing and no one toxic because I have shut that door. I have said no and set healthy boundaries that will keep me oriented to my true self. Continuing to walk, I find a winding path with many twists and turns and intersections. All signs from the universe say there is no right or wrong. I am able to think clearly, to meditate on what it is I want. My feet automatically head in the correct direction.
However, if I don’t step out of this door, if I continue to stare longingly at the beautiful vista before me, I will remain frozen in the past. Fear, regrets, guilt, pain, suffering, torment, torture will continue to flood my soul one after the other. Core beliefs will continue to hook me into believing that I am not good, that I am stupid, fat, that I deserve to be punished by living in this emotional filth. Clouds gather and become increasingly darker and blacker, heavier, choking off my breath. My body slowly begins to fold in on itself, no longer able to remain upright as it is buffeted from every direction by a hurricane of negative emotions. Muscles cramp and spasm in pain. My voice is no longer bright, loud and clear but raspy and choked with fear. Negative and toxic people, environments and relationships pinch, poke, and grasp at me.
MY FEAR LANDSCAPE
That is my FEAR landscape. FEAR has always been my biggest obstacle BUT (I use this in a good way here!) I HAVE WALKED THROUGH MY FEAR BEFORE! I was 35 when I realized I was gay, ended a 12 year marriage with a man, told my daughters that their father and I were getting a divorce, and moved out to get an apartment I couldn’t afford. That is huge!! I took a huge leap of faith that something would catch me. Life certainly hasn’t been perfect, and I have gone through many years of parental alienation, but I met my wife, Shannon, got my Masters in Counseling, worked some really cool jobs, travelled across the country three times, and met a lot of neat people on my journey!
I knew that if I had conquered FEAR once, then, maybe FEAR does not have me in its grip completely. Maybe my greatest barrier, FEAR, is just a hanger on and I’m giving him too much say in my life. FEAR can of course sometimes be a good friend, telling you when to run and when to fight, but a lot of times, we use FEAR as an obstacle to hold us back from achieving the happiness we want and deserve.
I decided to shake my FEAR off, like a bad dream, and walk through the door to my own life. I was unhappy working where I worked; unhappy being emotionally manipulated by people close to me. These things were killing my soul, my joy, so I stepped out into the light. I walked. I am still walking.
WALK WITH ME
Take a walk with me. Chase your FEAR and pin it down. Look at it closely under a scientific microscope (your practical, reasonable, wise mind). Explore what makes it tick and explore the times that you have done something in spite of FEAR! Learn how to overcome roadblocks, obstacles and barriers. You won’t know what you will learn about yourself until you do it! Travel with me as I continue to conquer my fears to live my life to the fullest.
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